It’s so hard to build trust when pain is a part of the picture. There’s nothing quite like that feeling after a deep, emotional connection, maybe on a special date night or after a vulnerable heart-to-heart. You’re finally ready. You feel close, aligned, and brave enough to finally take that next intimate step. But then, […]
Vaginismus is a protective reflex. Pelvic floor muscles tighten against penetration to keep you from getting hurt. When that reflex switches on, your body stops feeling like a safe place to live. Touch, pelvic exams, and even the idea of sex can trigger bracing, burning, or panic. This is protection, not failure. It is your
When we start feeling pain during sex, we are tempted to push through and often end up faking it. And when this happens repeatedly, sex becomes something the body learns to brace for. We often say ‘yes’ when our bodies want us to say no. We smile even when our body is tense or hurting.
We’ve all heard (or said) it before: “I just have low libido.” “Our sex drives are just really different.” “I don’t have any desire for sex like he does.” “I don’t really get aroused.” It’s easy to assume that these statements are just the natural differences between men and women when it comes to intimacy.
Do You *Actually* Have a Low Libido? The Truth About Libido in Women Read More »
Have you ever felt trapped in cycles of negative thoughts or behavior? We’ve all been there. One tiny trigger—an awkward conversation about intimacy, a hug that felt like it might lead to more—and suddenly, your thoughts and feelings are spiraling. It’s not just frustrating; it’s exhausting. For those dealing with vaginismus, these cycles of negativity
Letting Go of Negativity: How to Stop Feeling Stuck in your Thoughts Read More »
Experiencing pain or discomfort during penetrative sex can be incredibly frustrating and isolating. Whether it’s vaginismus, a tight pelvic floor, vulvodynia, or any other pelvic floor dysfunction, the physical pain can often lead to a cascade of emotional and relational consequences. What starts as some pain or discomfort can lead to impaired sexual desire, difficulty
The holiday season is a time for joy, celebration, and togetherness, but for those managing vaginismus, it can also present unique challenges. The decision-making process around whether to continue dilating during the holidays when your Great Aunt Ruth is around doesn’t have to be stressful. But maintaining a stress-free mindset is going to be key
Vaginismus, your Great Aunt Ruth, and the Holidays Read More »
For many women who face vaginismus, the challenges they encounter go far beyond their pelvic floor response. There is an unseen and often unacknowledged impact of vaginismus on the body, mind, and soul that can leave a woman feeling defeated beyond her understanding. The problem with our ‘typical’ approach Many women who experience vaginismus are
The Unseen and Unacknowledged World of Vaginismus Read More »
In the pursuit of effective and comprehensive healing from vaginismus, a nervous system based biopsychosocial approach provides the holistic and lasting healing that can often be missing from traditional vaginismus treatment plans. This approach recognizes the intricate interplay between the nervous system, the brain, the environment, and pain perception, leading to sustainable relief and long-term
As a loving partner or husband, your role in supporting your wife’s healing journey from vaginismus is invaluable. You are a valuable support system that can come beside her in her recovery and offer her the support, love, and encouragement she needs to keep persevering in this. One crucial aspect of the vaginismus journey is
6 Practical Tips to Better Support Your Partner on Her Vaginismus Journey Read More »
Psychological safety has a profound impact on your vaginismus recovery, influencing your dilator routine, your relationship with your partner, and, most importantly, your relationship with yourself. Understanding and fostering psychological safety can create an environment of acceptance, respect, and emotional security, supporting your healing process in profound ways. Psychological safety entails experiencing a sense of
3 Ways to Foster Psychological Safety to Enhance your Vaginismus Recovery Read More »
