Building resilience in your vaginismus journey

I know that your journey with vaginismus can be incredibly challenging, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Many women have struggled with this condition, and the good news is that there are many ways to build and develop resilience during your healing journey. In this blog post, I will be sharing some tips on how to do just that, based on the work of Brene Brown and my own personal experience.

First and foremost, it is important to understand that resilience is not about gritting your teeth and bearing a difficult situation, it’s about learning and growing from challenging experiences to help you persevere with excellence. This means that you will need to be kind and gentle with yourself as you navigate your healing journey.

Cultivate self-compassion

One of the most important things you can do to build resilience is to cultivate self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support that you would offer to a good friend. It means acknowledging your pain and suffering without judgment or criticism, and recognizing that it is a normal part of the healing process.

Let others in

Another key aspect of resilience is the ability to ask for help and let others in. This can be challenging, as many of us are taught to be self-sufficient and to handle things on our own, especially with matters like vaginismus that are highly personal and can leave us vulnerable. However, asking for help is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of strength and courage. Speaking up and connecting with others, even if they have no idea what vaginismus is, can help you gain ownership of your challenges as well as enter into a mental space that invites others in. Whether you need support from a loved one, a therapist, or a support group, it is important to reach out and connect with others who can offer you the help and support you need and get your mind to a place of owning your experiences and growing from them.

Cultivate a growth mindset

In addition to self-compassion and asking for help, cultivating a growth mindset can also be incredibly helpful for building resilience. This means viewing your challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as insurmountable obstacles. It means recognizing that setbacks and failures are a natural part of the learning process, and that they can help you become stronger and more resilient in the long run.

Practice gratitude and joy

Finally, it is important to practice gratitude and cultivate joy in your life. This may seem difficult when you are dealing with a painful condition like vaginismus, but it is possible. By focusing on the things in your life that bring you joy and gratitude, you can shift your perspective and cultivate a more positive outlook on life. This can help you stay resilient and hopeful, even in the face of challenges.

Building resilience during your vaginismus journey is possible, but it requires intentional effort and self-compassion. By cultivating self-compassion, letting others in, adopting a growth mindset, and practicing gratitude and joy, you can become stronger and more resilient in the face of challenges. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope for healing and growth.

As Brene Brown says, “When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.\” So, my dear friend, I encourage you to walk into your story with courage and resilience, and to write a beautiful ending that reflects your strength, courage, and resilience.


Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Penguin.

Brown, B. (2015). Rising strong: How the ability to reset transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Spiegel & Grau.

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