6 Practical Ways to Stay Motivated on Your Vaginismus Journey

Dealing with vaginismus can be a challenging and sometimes frustrating journey. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and lacking motivation along the way. Factors such as a fear of failure, the repetitive nature of the work involved, and the lack of external accountability due to the private nature of the condition can all contribute to a sense of demotivation. However, it’s important to remember that staying motivated is crucial to making progress and achieving your goals. Here are some practical ways to stay motivated and build resilience throughout your vaginismus journey.

Write down your “why”. Why are you doing this? What is it you want to accomplish? Is it penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex? Okay, but why do you want this so bad? Do you feel like a part of your womanhood is missing because of this? Get to the root of your “why” and let this be your focus. Turn it into a sort-of mantra to help you focus when things get overwhelming.

Focusing on your “why” helps shift your thinking from accomplishing a task to achieving a state of mind, which makes the everyday vaginismus shuffle easier. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when thinking about the ultimate goal of overcoming vaginismus. Instead of solely fixating on the end result, break it down into smaller, manageable steps while focusing on your “why” each day. By setting achievable milestones along the way, you can maintain a sense of progress and celebrate each little win. Celebrating these milestones will provide a positive reinforcement and keep you motivated to continue your journey.

Keeping your struggles and victories to yourself can make the journey feel isolating. Sharing your progress with someone you trust can make a significant difference. Hopefully your trusted friend is your partner, but I recognize this isn’t a reality for everyone. So whether it’s a close friend, partner, or family member, having a support system that understands and encourages you can provide the necessary emotional boost to stay motivated. They can offer words of encouragement, lend an empathetic ear, and celebrate your achievements alongside you.

If your partner isn’t quite someone you feel comfortable talking about vaginismus with, I would encourage you to start small and start building a framework of trust and vulnerability so you both can connect and grow deeper both emotionally and physically. Consider reaching out to a licensed counselor or therapist to help you heal and foster psychological safety within your relationship. Being able to be open and vulnerable with your partner is an important step in your vaginismus recovery.

Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can be empowering. There is power in knowing you’re not alone on this journey. It’s also incredibly helpful to gain wisdom and support from others who are in your same boat. Consider joining a support community, such as a our amazing private Facebook group dedicated to practical tips for overcoming vaginismus. Engaging with individuals who can relate to your struggles and share their own stories of progress can provide a sense of belonging and inspiration. These communities often offer a wealth of knowledge, resources, and uplifting discussions that can help you stay motivated throughout your journey.

Accountability plays a crucial role in maintaining motivation. Having someone to guide you, hold you accountable, and provide expert support can make a world of difference. You can find accountability from a pelvic health therapist, gynecologist, or a vaginismus coach! A vaginismus coach can provide personalized guidance, strategies, and encouragement tailored to your unique needs. A coach can help you navigate the challenges, celebrate your progress, and stay motivated on your journey towards overcoming vaginismus.

Accountability really is helpful with vaginismus because it is so easy to tap out mentally and physically from the dilators and pelvic floor work, and few people would notice. Having someone there to encourage you and support you during these most vulnerable moments can provide that little extra bump of support and help to really get you moving on your journey!

Monitoring your progress and setting daily goals can be incredibly helpful in staying motivated. Dilator logs and habit trackers allow you to track your usage, monitor your progress, and set achievable targets. By visually seeing your progress and ticking off completed tasks, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and stay motivated to continue the daily work necessary for overcoming vaginismus. This also can help map out your journey- where you’ve been and how you plan to progress. As part of my dedication to supporting individuals on their journey, I provide a free Dilator 101 guide and tracker to assist you in your progress.

If you find yourself struggling to stay motivated or feeling stuck, consider exploring my Mind-Body-Sex Reset program. This comprehensive program offers not only accountability but also strategies and tools to keep you motivated throughout your journey. It includes a “What to Do When You’re Stuck” series targets what to do when you’re stuck in pain, anxiety, on a dilator size, and lacking motivation. This is designed to provide guidance and support during those inevitable challenging moments. By participating in this program, you’ll have access to a community of individuals facing similar experiences, making the journey less daunting and more inspiring all while having the education, encouragement, and support you need to get past vaginismus once and for all. Schedule a free consultation call to see if this is a good fit for you.

Remember, staying motivated on your vaginismus journey is an ongoing process. Embrace the progress you’ve made, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself along the way. By implementing these practical strategies, seeking support, and maintaining accountability, you’ll be better equipped to overcome obstacles, stay motivated, and achieve the fulfilling and pleasurable sex life you deserve and desire.